My mother got the teaching job. From the Ministry of Education to teach in a primary school.
Is that good or bad or evil? I mean she wants it a whole lot and she was repeating the whole interview and opening the letterbox everyday (for the first time) to check for the confirmation letter.
And guess what? Our oh so productive and effective government sent her a simple sms.
Which will mean I have lost my car rides to and fro from school. But Dad's going to send me to school everyday! Whee!
I guess I need to organise my time and prioritise with homework and other stuff. I NEED A DAILY PLANNER.
But what if I go wild or something? Like neglect my studies or hang out or wreck the place or set the whole place on fire? Unlikely, yes, but still.
Just when I thought my life was too boring to write about things heat up a little.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Licking Fingers
Topics I need to get out of my system:
1) Euthanasia
2) Contraceptives and Jabs and STD
3) BGRs
4) Tuition Homework
Today is a Monday, 17th of November, and Britain is wanting to promote jabs which causes their teenagers to become INFERTILE for three years.
Yesterday was Sunday and the invited preacher, an Elder of another church, was talking about Identity Beyond Sexuality. Which became more a topic on Sexuality and Homo-sexuality. and of course pornography and etc...
Following Saturday's Straits Times hollering about the euthanasia case in Italy where a dad who has kept his daughter on 16 years life-support because the church won't let him disconnect the feeding tube.
Which also included the sex-changed female who is now a male with a womb and is carrying their second baby.
Which is only half theirs since the male can't force his own into his vagina.
When there are hundreds of thousands of children who could be adopted in less waiting time than 9 months. Although putting those innocent minds into such fallen human corruption is no less than evil and torture to human beings. Other than making someone listen and watch the revised channel promoting HSM and Hannah and Camp-something. But how would I know? I don't even own cable.
So what is this world coming to? Just a final end and a heavenly banquet. I think we need a few more World Wars and total destruction of MTV and a NEW DICTATORSHIP in order for people like me to look up from our self-pity and actually go back to our roots back in the Garden of Eden.
Yes, fear my change the world plan.
Actually, fear my mental state more. I am listening to Loco Roco 2's advertisement with a sorrowful Waiting in the Weeds by the Eagles in the background. Erin, try it. You'll see where my mental degradation has led me.
On the brighter side, as Singapore wages war against the hourly rates of rooms on Joo Chiat Road to prevent sexual and sleazy activities although the smart alecs will head over to Geylang to finish their business transactions, CHRISTMAS IS COMING!
And I am playing Winter Wonderland by a bub called Merle Haggard (just clicking nice looking tracks) on YouTube.
But seriously! Admit it! The lighting and decorations on Orchard Road are designed by candy obsessed people who can't get the meaning of Christmas or good looking ornaments. I mean, at least presents rather than streets of candy hanging from trees and lamp posts pretending to be giant candy canes.
I have progressed to Silent Night. This guy's voice is quite nice and calming. When I'm supposed to be doing algebra.
Now I'm at Silver Bells.
There's no green and red feeling around or the feeling that there is Santa Claus and all his elves and Mrs. Claus. Although of course the whole meaning of Christmas is Jesus Christ being born even if not on the exact date of 25th December.
Perhaps Santa Claus is coming to town.
1) Euthanasia
2) Contraceptives and Jabs and STD
3) BGRs
4) Tuition Homework
Today is a Monday, 17th of November, and Britain is wanting to promote jabs which causes their teenagers to become INFERTILE for three years.
Yesterday was Sunday and the invited preacher, an Elder of another church, was talking about Identity Beyond Sexuality. Which became more a topic on Sexuality and Homo-sexuality. and of course pornography and etc...
Following Saturday's Straits Times hollering about the euthanasia case in Italy where a dad who has kept his daughter on 16 years life-support because the church won't let him disconnect the feeding tube.
Which also included the sex-changed female who is now a male with a womb and is carrying their second baby.
Which is only half theirs since the male can't force his own into his vagina.
When there are hundreds of thousands of children who could be adopted in less waiting time than 9 months. Although putting those innocent minds into such fallen human corruption is no less than evil and torture to human beings. Other than making someone listen and watch the revised channel promoting HSM and Hannah and Camp-something. But how would I know? I don't even own cable.
So what is this world coming to? Just a final end and a heavenly banquet. I think we need a few more World Wars and total destruction of MTV and a NEW DICTATORSHIP in order for people like me to look up from our self-pity and actually go back to our roots back in the Garden of Eden.
Yes, fear my change the world plan.
Actually, fear my mental state more. I am listening to Loco Roco 2's advertisement with a sorrowful Waiting in the Weeds by the Eagles in the background. Erin, try it. You'll see where my mental degradation has led me.
On the brighter side, as Singapore wages war against the hourly rates of rooms on Joo Chiat Road to prevent sexual and sleazy activities although the smart alecs will head over to Geylang to finish their business transactions, CHRISTMAS IS COMING!
And I am playing Winter Wonderland by a bub called Merle Haggard (just clicking nice looking tracks) on YouTube.
But seriously! Admit it! The lighting and decorations on Orchard Road are designed by candy obsessed people who can't get the meaning of Christmas or good looking ornaments. I mean, at least presents rather than streets of candy hanging from trees and lamp posts pretending to be giant candy canes.
I have progressed to Silent Night. This guy's voice is quite nice and calming. When I'm supposed to be doing algebra.
Now I'm at Silver Bells.
There's no green and red feeling around or the feeling that there is Santa Claus and all his elves and Mrs. Claus. Although of course the whole meaning of Christmas is Jesus Christ being born even if not on the exact date of 25th December.
Perhaps Santa Claus is coming to town.
I am so sad I feel like crying and wallowing in my bed and pillows. Unfortunately, it is getting quite boring. I slept in for an hour before going to church then slept two hours in the afternoon and was in bed asleep by eleven. But I suppose it doesn't count since I woke up at 3 in the morning due to nothing and padded around the house before falling asleep again.
The sermon was on Sexuality. Groan. That topic is hitting me all over for a week or more. First it was Every Young Woman's Battle and now it's this whole chunk of a sermon on a late Sunday morning.
I am bleeding pretty awfully, the wound hurts too.
I wonder if I'll ever become an author. For babies perhaps, considering my current literary standard.
Nothing matters as much as making some worth of myself I suppose.
My dad raided my wardrobe in attempt to bring some semblance of order into it.
Will I ever become an author at least two people will go raving about? A dream I've been holding close for nearly three years is just so vapour-ish if there is such a word.
The sermon was on Sexuality. Groan. That topic is hitting me all over for a week or more. First it was Every Young Woman's Battle and now it's this whole chunk of a sermon on a late Sunday morning.
I am bleeding pretty awfully, the wound hurts too.
I wonder if I'll ever become an author. For babies perhaps, considering my current literary standard.
Nothing matters as much as making some worth of myself I suppose.
My dad raided my wardrobe in attempt to bring some semblance of order into it.
Will I ever become an author at least two people will go raving about? A dream I've been holding close for nearly three years is just so vapour-ish if there is such a word.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
My Apologies
Sorry for that eminent weirdness in the previous two posts. Just to tell you that I am truly myself when I blog not just filtering my speech when I have live conversations with friends as great as you.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Blog Entry 03
This time it would be accepted to title this post in a more interesting way but I decided against it in case I turn it into a rant or digress in mid-post.
Anyways I feel like a plump blob of blubber. I've been doing as much as I can, cutting back food intake, running for exercise and pondering about the subject. I don't know whether I should convince myself that I am anorexic (when I am not) and just starve myself till I get to the desired weight (like that's going to happen with my love for food).
It hasn't been working even though I've been at it for over 20 weeks! Excluding mostly the examination weeks when you can't possibly run when you are already shack with the revision.
On the bright side I have a whole evening to about ten plus if I'm lucky alone on a Saturday night on the 6th of December. By the riverside where the night life of this city thrives. It would be nice to spend it with someone. Someone to talk to me as a total stranger yet a deepest friend. Without me worrying about abduction or any low lying rot like that.
How sad, for that day I'll have somewhere to go but no one to go with.
I'm starting on a teenager series of trouble. Eventually a good story? Hopefully yet dolefully I wait for it to take seed.
Anyways I feel like a plump blob of blubber. I've been doing as much as I can, cutting back food intake, running for exercise and pondering about the subject. I don't know whether I should convince myself that I am anorexic (when I am not) and just starve myself till I get to the desired weight (like that's going to happen with my love for food).
It hasn't been working even though I've been at it for over 20 weeks! Excluding mostly the examination weeks when you can't possibly run when you are already shack with the revision.
On the bright side I have a whole evening to about ten plus if I'm lucky alone on a Saturday night on the 6th of December. By the riverside where the night life of this city thrives. It would be nice to spend it with someone. Someone to talk to me as a total stranger yet a deepest friend. Without me worrying about abduction or any low lying rot like that.
How sad, for that day I'll have somewhere to go but no one to go with.
I'm starting on a teenager series of trouble. Eventually a good story? Hopefully yet dolefully I wait for it to take seed.
Blog Entry 02
Just to make myself feel better from my over-colliding hormonal sequence pattern partially due to PMS (just discharged egg), I am going to just type and blog anything and whatever that comes to mind as I am against doing my Chinese homework and my (is it lustful or masturbating?) thoughts.
People like cockroaches and tapeworms who are critical about my writing now, buzz off. I won't be bothering about my style for... weather check... the next three weeks or so until I finish the "Every Young Woman's Battle" self-help or God-helps book and "Middlesex" that irritatingly good writer's book.
As Paul said "Everything is Permissible but not everything is beneficial"
I finished the Chinese book I was supposed to read for tuition ages ago but it has seriously confirmed the vague ideas I had about Chinese writers. Let's list them.
1) Fake Suspense (Everyone couldn't care less about the stories there's no suspense)
2) No thinking space for the reader. (Apparently, the Chinese books and stories which I read, of which there are few, allow no room for the reader's opinion or the author's own true feelings because everything is so robotic-ly separated into right and wrong. what fun or enjoyment is there in reading a book which blatantly tells you right-from-wrong?)
3) Qin Shihuang and Mao have brainwashed them to thinking there is no freedom of speech. (Yeah, the books will be thrown into acid if they write about the scandals or the deteriorating quality of life.)
4) No respect is developed in the reader for the author. ( Perhaps it's just this little compilation of stories by the same author but she pokes her nose into every abyss of teenage misery she encounters without dragging the victims out by her hooked nose.)
Whatever. No one's going to read my blog so why should I bother with writing properly in what I believe is grammatical order. Nothing that comes out of me good enough unless it comes from God. Sigh. He better explain this whole cosmic plan to us one day about how He KNOWS everything but can also change HIS mind when we pray for mercy or forgiveness for fellow brethren.
I guess I would like to have someone to talk to heart-to-heart right now but unfortunately I have to worry about my Chinese tuition homework which I don't care much for. I can't see Melanie for if soonest the next fortnight. She's my friend, perhaps my best friend, and my longest friendship. Since before five years old. We were in the same church then and since I moved to another we see each other perhaps just twice a year. Thrice if lucky.
I miss childhood.
People like cockroaches and tapeworms who are critical about my writing now, buzz off. I won't be bothering about my style for... weather check... the next three weeks or so until I finish the "Every Young Woman's Battle" self-help or God-helps book and "Middlesex" that irritatingly good writer's book.
As Paul said "Everything is Permissible but not everything is beneficial"
I finished the Chinese book I was supposed to read for tuition ages ago but it has seriously confirmed the vague ideas I had about Chinese writers. Let's list them.
1) Fake Suspense (Everyone couldn't care less about the stories there's no suspense)
2) No thinking space for the reader. (Apparently, the Chinese books and stories which I read, of which there are few, allow no room for the reader's opinion or the author's own true feelings because everything is so robotic-ly separated into right and wrong. what fun or enjoyment is there in reading a book which blatantly tells you right-from-wrong?)
3) Qin Shihuang and Mao have brainwashed them to thinking there is no freedom of speech. (Yeah, the books will be thrown into acid if they write about the scandals or the deteriorating quality of life.)
4) No respect is developed in the reader for the author. ( Perhaps it's just this little compilation of stories by the same author but she pokes her nose into every abyss of teenage misery she encounters without dragging the victims out by her hooked nose.)
Whatever. No one's going to read my blog so why should I bother with writing properly in what I believe is grammatical order. Nothing that comes out of me good enough unless it comes from God. Sigh. He better explain this whole cosmic plan to us one day about how He KNOWS everything but can also change HIS mind when we pray for mercy or forgiveness for fellow brethren.
I guess I would like to have someone to talk to heart-to-heart right now but unfortunately I have to worry about my Chinese tuition homework which I don't care much for. I can't see Melanie for if soonest the next fortnight. She's my friend, perhaps my best friend, and my longest friendship. Since before five years old. We were in the same church then and since I moved to another we see each other perhaps just twice a year. Thrice if lucky.
I miss childhood.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Every Young Woman's Battle
I got that book from Tecman, a Christian bookstore with a whole lot more.
Located at Bras Basah Complex opposite the Raffles Hotel.
Today someone commented on me tagging with my mother even at this age.
Which I am perhaps a bit too old for, being a teenager.
Apparently the saleswoman was rather alright with my parasitic behaviour due to my shortage of allowance.
Apart from the apparent digressing...
This book has quite gotten my attention and I leeched on my mother and she bought it for me. Score one for going out with parents.
It's about "Guarding your Mind, Heart, Body In a Sex-Saturated World"
This is the fourth book in the Every-dash dash's battle. As far as I could tell from the dedications, foreword and introduction.
A team of people are involved in the production and writing of the books as well as teenagers contributing their painful stories and opinions.
Published by WaterBrook Press
2007 Edition
Copyrighted 2004
This one is written by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn
It is supposed to cover topics like dating, sexuality, virginity (Shannon had lost her's before marriage), God and our spiritual relationship with him, the modern thinking of sex and sexual provocation. Or at least along those lines.
Seriously, I find that some of the relationship thoughts have been going into my head. Not that I read overly crazy and unrealistic teenage romance like Twilight. Actually, I quite shy away from that genre.
I find that the modern fiction writers for my age group promote some things in the reverse psychology way or demoting them in the reverse psychology way.
There I go lying again. I read them because I have that stupid running round the bush teenage plot with the near perfect boyfriend in it which I made up. Mentions and cheering to me for thinking him up.
........
No applause?
Okay so yes. I got that guy's physical attractiveness from a brown haired Ken doll and Joe from The Tea Rose by Jennifer Donnelly.
So yes. In reading the book I hope to get all the falleness of my sexual nature out of my life and mental spaces and reconnect with God.
And to those non-commenting lurkers on my blog
"I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS WHO GO AROUND DOING THAT KIND OF STUFF!"
To people like Erin and Megs and any of the apparently dismantling Muse Clique who actually bother to read this blog now you know what a boy-girl relationship obsessed person I actually am.
And how abysmally emotionally lacking of intelligence to keep my mental love life secret.
I think I am dying for a game of truth or dare. Let's play.
Okay whatever it is you dared me I am opting for a truth.
And I think up the question. Not you.
I have never had a boyfriend or a kiss or a date or a close male friend excluding my dad.
There. I said it.
Located at Bras Basah Complex opposite the Raffles Hotel.
Today someone commented on me tagging with my mother even at this age.
Which I am perhaps a bit too old for, being a teenager.
Apparently the saleswoman was rather alright with my parasitic behaviour due to my shortage of allowance.
Apart from the apparent digressing...
This book has quite gotten my attention and I leeched on my mother and she bought it for me. Score one for going out with parents.
It's about "Guarding your Mind, Heart, Body In a Sex-Saturated World"
This is the fourth book in the Every-dash dash's battle. As far as I could tell from the dedications, foreword and introduction.
A team of people are involved in the production and writing of the books as well as teenagers contributing their painful stories and opinions.
Published by WaterBrook Press
2007 Edition
Copyrighted 2004
This one is written by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn
It is supposed to cover topics like dating, sexuality, virginity (Shannon had lost her's before marriage), God and our spiritual relationship with him, the modern thinking of sex and sexual provocation. Or at least along those lines.
Seriously, I find that some of the relationship thoughts have been going into my head. Not that I read overly crazy and unrealistic teenage romance like Twilight. Actually, I quite shy away from that genre.
I find that the modern fiction writers for my age group promote some things in the reverse psychology way or demoting them in the reverse psychology way.
There I go lying again. I read them because I have that stupid running round the bush teenage plot with the near perfect boyfriend in it which I made up. Mentions and cheering to me for thinking him up.
........
No applause?
Okay so yes. I got that guy's physical attractiveness from a brown haired Ken doll and Joe from The Tea Rose by Jennifer Donnelly.
So yes. In reading the book I hope to get all the falleness of my sexual nature out of my life and mental spaces and reconnect with God.
And to those non-commenting lurkers on my blog
"I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS WHO GO AROUND DOING THAT KIND OF STUFF!"
To people like Erin and Megs and any of the apparently dismantling Muse Clique who actually bother to read this blog now you know what a boy-girl relationship obsessed person I actually am.
And how abysmally emotionally lacking of intelligence to keep my mental love life secret.
I think I am dying for a game of truth or dare. Let's play.
Okay whatever it is you dared me I am opting for a truth.
And I think up the question. Not you.
I have never had a boyfriend or a kiss or a date or a close male friend excluding my dad.
There. I said it.
Blog Entry 01
The numbered (Blog Entry) series will occur when I have either no better name for a post or when I just want to recount a day or week or month of a year in the life in my world.
Yesterday:
I have found that I like cooking. Especially pasta for my own consumption.
Greedy little tummy.
The neck-warmer i was instructed to do by my mother or more like ordered to make for my aunt in New York has too broad a width by her analysis.
Today:
Destroyed the intended neck-warmer and started on a lion brand yarn pattern for a scarf.
took me ages to coil back 23 cm of purl stitch with width about 22 stitches.
I found the pattern for a Basic Sampler Scarf which I am now knitting in lieu of the somewhat easier and more conservative neck warmer.
Went out for lunch with my mom and her Korean friend.
We had a nice yummy lunch and went to a cafe for drinks and cake
So much for the grubbing.
Then I had to make myself burn it off with a 2.4 run in 16 min 25-ish seconds.
Then a short walk with my mother before washing her car.
I saw the slacking cleaners in my condo.
At least they may have some good in them since I saw the growing carnation seedlings in the pot.
Ignoring my Chinese book.
Knitting quite sadly and quietly.
Going for dinner now at the Dining Table.
Yesterday:
I have found that I like cooking. Especially pasta for my own consumption.
Greedy little tummy.
The neck-warmer i was instructed to do by my mother or more like ordered to make for my aunt in New York has too broad a width by her analysis.
Today:
Destroyed the intended neck-warmer and started on a lion brand yarn pattern for a scarf.
took me ages to coil back 23 cm of purl stitch with width about 22 stitches.
I found the pattern for a Basic Sampler Scarf which I am now knitting in lieu of the somewhat easier and more conservative neck warmer.
Went out for lunch with my mom and her Korean friend.
We had a nice yummy lunch and went to a cafe for drinks and cake
So much for the grubbing.
Then I had to make myself burn it off with a 2.4 run in 16 min 25-ish seconds.
Then a short walk with my mother before washing her car.
I saw the slacking cleaners in my condo.
At least they may have some good in them since I saw the growing carnation seedlings in the pot.
Ignoring my Chinese book.
Knitting quite sadly and quietly.
Going for dinner now at the Dining Table.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Gluttony
Chewing on a de-flavoured strip of Hubba Bubba Gum
Triple Berry
Smuggled from Europe to this country
This is not my Idea of fun.
I wish I was courting a man
With the intention of it carrying on. Not some fickle candle in the wind
Or at least a friendship, a deep one with a man
Today was all stern men
On the bus, in the shops
at least the ones which are in my age group or whomsoever I fancy
That does it. I can't think while attempting to rant.
All you need to know is that I have to finish a dull Chinese book
Dull only because of the language and the whole ideal right and wrong concept.
This by Thursday afternoon for the gallows of Chinese Tuition.
Triple Berry
Smuggled from Europe to this country
This is not my Idea of fun.
I wish I was courting a man
With the intention of it carrying on. Not some fickle candle in the wind
Or at least a friendship, a deep one with a man
Today was all stern men
On the bus, in the shops
at least the ones which are in my age group or whomsoever I fancy
That does it. I can't think while attempting to rant.
All you need to know is that I have to finish a dull Chinese book
Dull only because of the language and the whole ideal right and wrong concept.
This by Thursday afternoon for the gallows of Chinese Tuition.
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Scarlet Letter
A rather in depth book about sin and guilt by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I was inspired to read it by Taylor Swift. Her singing "and I was your Scarlet Letter" in her song Love Story.
I think I should be more honest in my blogging and just rant like all my other fellow teen bloggers do. Be honest with myself.
That will start in the next entry.
I think I should be more honest in my blogging and just rant like all my other fellow teen bloggers do. Be honest with myself.
That will start in the next entry.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Bad Day
A sad song turns around your day? I hope it does. I've listened to Daniel Powter's Bad Day at least five times in a row at this point. alright four from him and one chimpmunk version.
I'm sorry Kimisa. I know you know my blog now. I suppose you might never see this post. You're possibly watching your favourite "I Survived a Japanese Gameshow" right now. You'll never know what's in your plain sight. This was possibly the trigger.
You don't know. Why should I bother? Then I feel that this is my only way out.
It's like this. My mother does not really like me on such close terms with you. I don't get it, I mean I get her reasoning about the religion combats we will face but I just wish that God could carry me through those.
I have a few close friends at church and in this circle of my life. Then why do I want to be with you as a friend? You made me love you to much. The manga you drew, your own boldness.
I can't send this sort of point directly to you so I have to do it in the presence of the whole web and face the stupid bleeding risk of you seeing it at the same time.
Perhaps if life was a music video we could all cheorograph at our own pre-ordained style it might work out. You'll be the person who spray paints everyday after a bad day at school on the pavement along the road which my eyes see everyday. I'll be the person who writes next to it in chalk that the rain washes away. Then one day you'll see my initials before the rain comes.
Sorry if I've been emoing out because of that.
I'm sorry Kimisa. I know you know my blog now. I suppose you might never see this post. You're possibly watching your favourite "I Survived a Japanese Gameshow" right now. You'll never know what's in your plain sight. This was possibly the trigger.
You don't know. Why should I bother? Then I feel that this is my only way out.
It's like this. My mother does not really like me on such close terms with you. I don't get it, I mean I get her reasoning about the religion combats we will face but I just wish that God could carry me through those.
I have a few close friends at church and in this circle of my life. Then why do I want to be with you as a friend? You made me love you to much. The manga you drew, your own boldness.
I can't send this sort of point directly to you so I have to do it in the presence of the whole web and face the stupid bleeding risk of you seeing it at the same time.
Perhaps if life was a music video we could all cheorograph at our own pre-ordained style it might work out. You'll be the person who spray paints everyday after a bad day at school on the pavement along the road which my eyes see everyday. I'll be the person who writes next to it in chalk that the rain washes away. Then one day you'll see my initials before the rain comes.
Sorry if I've been emoing out because of that.
Hang it All
Dash it all that little insignificant language mark.
I waste hours and money on the pitiful little language and I find no enjoyment in it.
Let me dash all hopes of becoming a English-French bilingual. Right now, the outrageous government just wants all of us citizens under their education scheme to learn our mother tongue regardless of the nowhere it's going to lead most of us. We'll bloomingly forget the lump of stuff we learn other than basic conversational Chinese.
Really. Other than the ability of speaking to 1.3 billion people in China and smatterings of other non-China people who know the language that's about it. You can't use it as a Morse code in Singapore. Even in France you can't use it as a Morse code because of all the other CHINESE people KNOW THE LANGUAGE.
While we're at that we can wilt away the time we could have otherwise spent on the things we treasure in the wide spectrum of academics.
I'm not against Chinese or anything but this sort of force-feeding has got to stop. The culture and heritage I hold in great esteem but it's the same as race isn't it? It holds you down when you want to delve into other areas and spaces.
It is important but to each his own. What is food to one is lethal poison to the other. My English grade has worsened (though perhaps not Chinese's fault) and that haranguing red mark from my Chinese makes me feel so insignificant I feel like chucking away my writing dreams and becoming the little toddler in the system. Toddling from high school to varsity. That's all they want from us. Just that. No high expectations. Nope.
HOW UNCONVINCING IS THAT?
Some people are forced into some types of work and there are hundreds and thousands out there striving for a living and daily bread and gruel. So why am I complaining?
Just say that I am a stubborn, ill-contented, selfish, self-absorbed, wishful thinking, spoiled, indecent brat of a teenager.
I waste hours and money on the pitiful little language and I find no enjoyment in it.
Let me dash all hopes of becoming a English-French bilingual. Right now, the outrageous government just wants all of us citizens under their education scheme to learn our mother tongue regardless of the nowhere it's going to lead most of us. We'll bloomingly forget the lump of stuff we learn other than basic conversational Chinese.
Really. Other than the ability of speaking to 1.3 billion people in China and smatterings of other non-China people who know the language that's about it. You can't use it as a Morse code in Singapore. Even in France you can't use it as a Morse code because of all the other CHINESE people KNOW THE LANGUAGE.
While we're at that we can wilt away the time we could have otherwise spent on the things we treasure in the wide spectrum of academics.
I'm not against Chinese or anything but this sort of force-feeding has got to stop. The culture and heritage I hold in great esteem but it's the same as race isn't it? It holds you down when you want to delve into other areas and spaces.
It is important but to each his own. What is food to one is lethal poison to the other. My English grade has worsened (though perhaps not Chinese's fault) and that haranguing red mark from my Chinese makes me feel so insignificant I feel like chucking away my writing dreams and becoming the little toddler in the system. Toddling from high school to varsity. That's all they want from us. Just that. No high expectations. Nope.
HOW UNCONVINCING IS THAT?
Some people are forced into some types of work and there are hundreds and thousands out there striving for a living and daily bread and gruel. So why am I complaining?
Just say that I am a stubborn, ill-contented, selfish, self-absorbed, wishful thinking, spoiled, indecent brat of a teenager.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Obama Won!
Thank you for noting that Erin. As a token of my esteem and respect towards you I shall now request the lurkers around this blog to buzz over to your blog where they can thrive as lurkers since your blog does not have a bleeding comment system or tagboard.
Obama WON! At least now we don't have to hide our faces and duck for cover should Mc Cain become president and attend some meeting in Singapore which our Prime Minister is cordially inviting the truly elected president to in his congratulatory letter to Mr Obama and his Vice-President.
I'll need to resort to ebay soon. There is no other way I can get my much needed yarn.
......
That was an exceedingly long movie break. I am just too stuck into the Disney movies. Motion pictures of course not the HSM nonsense that passes for a movie nowadays. Just watched The Black Cauldron, which was a disappointment. Not as many funny lines or anything as the usual stream.
ADMIT IT! Disney is the awesomest movie producer of this age other than it's crazy propaganda of teenage life.
Obama WON! At least now we don't have to hide our faces and duck for cover should Mc Cain become president and attend some meeting in Singapore which our Prime Minister is cordially inviting the truly elected president to in his congratulatory letter to Mr Obama and his Vice-President.
I'll need to resort to ebay soon. There is no other way I can get my much needed yarn.
......
That was an exceedingly long movie break. I am just too stuck into the Disney movies. Motion pictures of course not the HSM nonsense that passes for a movie nowadays. Just watched The Black Cauldron, which was a disappointment. Not as many funny lines or anything as the usual stream.
ADMIT IT! Disney is the awesomest movie producer of this age other than it's crazy propaganda of teenage life.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Am I Lovesick?
I seriously think I am. I have this continuous love-story with the same old characters with occasionally different settings running through my head since I was playing Barbie. Which is yes, ages ago. Now it has evolved to a near Beauty and the Beast setting with only modern people. Potential spark whenever I revisit my childhood favourites.
First it was the Malaysian trip to Port Dickson last weekend (I'll elaborate more this week). I spent a memorable ten minutes or so sitting across this lonesome Indian chap with the sea breeze in my face. It isn't exactly me checking him out or anything but it started me thinking about relationships and the possible advances he might make. Thankfully we were just two folks staring at nothing in particular and sipping water.
Of course I was knitting: that made him stare at my needles for awhile. Turns out I was a lot calmer after that. May have been the sea air or that singular human presence. I left after that for my shower. Later that night I believe he was one of the two chaps sleeping on the benches where we sat.
Second was the train ride. Just a few stops. I chanced to sit next to a blond guy. It was certainly uncalled for but I think it started my irritating brain cogs wondering who I might eventually end up with. If only all people wore wedding or engagement rings. No problems or worries that you are chatting up a married guy or girl. I quite "fall in love" with random people with no particular looks when in a line queuing for food or in the bus.
He was not handsome or dashing or wearing a crisp business suit (any of those would have been quite attractive). Just a plain man in t-shirt and shorts. Like what a friend told me, when you are single and guys don't notice, you feel awfully insignificant. I have never been in a real dating relationship or even boy-girl so my only experience is when I dream about it. a.k.a the weird characters scenario.
Third. The newspaper boy. It is so clique I want to scream. An average looking newspaper boy can really hit you hard when he comes for the payment when you are dressed in nothing but shorts and a P.J top. Like the Avenue Q song "I'm not wearing underwear today"
I believe he's about a few years older than me. Collecting the payment for a few years now but there's nothing more I do when I see him but pass him the money and get my change and receipt.
I hope this does not affect my mental reputation with my friends who know this blog. I'm just feeling a little lovelorn. And practically old when someone thought I was my mother's friend. Gross.
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