Am I Lovesick?

I seriously think I am. I have this continuous love-story with the same old characters with occasionally different settings running through my head since I was playing Barbie. Which is yes, ages ago. Now it has evolved to a near Beauty and the Beast setting with only modern people. Potential spark whenever I revisit my childhood favourites.

First it was the Malaysian trip to Port Dickson last weekend (I'll elaborate more this week). I spent a memorable ten minutes or so sitting across this lonesome Indian chap with the sea breeze in my face. It isn't exactly me checking him out or anything but it started me thinking about relationships and the possible advances he might make. Thankfully we were just two folks staring at nothing in particular and sipping water.

Of course I was knitting: that made him stare at my needles for awhile. Turns out I was a lot calmer after that. May have been the sea air or that singular human presence. I left after that for my shower. Later that night I believe he was one of the two chaps sleeping on the benches where we sat.

Second was the train ride. Just a few stops. I chanced to sit next to a blond guy. It was certainly uncalled for but I think it started my irritating brain cogs wondering who I might eventually end up with. If only all people wore wedding or engagement rings. No problems or worries that you are chatting up a married guy or girl. I quite "fall in love" with random people with no particular looks when in a line queuing for food or in the bus.

He was not handsome or dashing or wearing a crisp business suit (any of those would have been quite attractive). Just a plain man in t-shirt and shorts. Like what a friend told me, when you are single and guys don't notice, you feel awfully insignificant. I have never been in a real dating relationship or even boy-girl so my only experience is when I dream about it. a.k.a the weird characters scenario.

Third. The newspaper boy. It is so clique I want to scream. An average looking newspaper boy can really hit you hard when he comes for the payment when you are dressed in nothing but shorts and a P.J top. Like the Avenue Q song "I'm not wearing underwear today"

I believe he's about a few years older than me. Collecting the payment for a few years now but there's nothing more I do when I see him but pass him the money and get my change and receipt.

I hope this does not affect my mental reputation with my friends who know this blog. I'm just feeling a little lovelorn. And practically old when someone thought I was my mother's friend. Gross.